| Although many parents are concerned with our | | | | of the needs (#1) is met, can a person start to |
| children's intelligence quotient (IQ), research shows | | | | move up toward fulfilling the other needs. For |
| that a child's emotional quotient (EQ) is just as | | | | example, if your child does not feel safe at home, |
| important for that child's personal success. So what is | | | | your child can not be expected to perform well in |
| Emotional Intelligence? Emotional quotient is your | | | | school (#3-Belongingness).We also are not aware |
| child's ability to feel, while intelligence quotient is your | | | | how our moods affect our children's moods. If a |
| child's ability to think. Although the term was coined in | | | | parent is stressed and constantly annoyed, the child |
| 1990 by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer, | | | | picks up on that mood and starts to behave the |
| the person responsible for bringing more awareness | | | | same way. If we do not speak to our children about |
| to emotional intelligence is a science writer Daniel | | | | their feelings, acknowledge their feelings and validate |
| Goleman.Mr Goleman's book | | | | their feelings, our children will not understand how to |
| Emotional Intelligence brought to light the importance | | | | be responsible for their own feelings and |
| of a child's skill of awareness, empathy and ability to | | | | emotions.When children have their emotional needs |
| manage emotions. Although there is some | | | | met, they are able to make healthy decisions in life. |
| controversy regarding how emotional intelligence | | | | Some of children's emotional needs are to feel loved, |
| plays a role in a child's life, there is evidence of the | | | | safe, understood, valued, trusted, listened to, |
| value of emotional intelligence.Two of the multiple | | | | worthy, appreciated, needed, important and |
| intelligences of Dr. Howard Gardner are Inter and | | | | motivated. To find out what your child's emotional |
| Intra personal intelligence. Inter-personal Intelligence is | | | | needs, think about how do you want your child to |
| the ability to relate to and understand others. Intra | | | | feel and how you would like to create those feelings |
| personal Intelligence is the ability to self reflect and | | | | for your child.So how can you raise your child's |
| understand inner emotions and identify strengths and | | | | emotional intelligence?For starters with young children, |
| weaknesses. Emotional intelligence combines the two | | | | as parents we can demonstrate healthy ways of |
| intelligences and helps a child to manage their feelings | | | | expressing our own emotions.Use the word "I" to |
| and emotions as well as empathize with the feelings | | | | own the feeling. Start with I feel upset when I am |
| and emotions of others.Should we be concerned | | | | not heard.Give the feeling a label for your child: "It |
| about the emotional intelligence of our children? Yes, | | | | looks like you're sad because your friend could not |
| because part of growing up to be responsible, | | | | come over and play."Validate your child's feelings. |
| healthy and happy individuals is the ability to show | | | | Listen, nod your head, use short comments to get |
| respect, cooperate and have empathy. We live in a | | | | them to continue talking. Do not criticize or yell or |
| society that inundates us with so much technology | | | | your child will shut down.Make eye contact and pay |
| that we sometimes forget the importance of human | | | | attention.As your child grows, help them to |
| contact and relationships. Children need to be able to | | | | understand different emotions and why people react |
| understand their feelings. We place so much emphasis | | | | to certain circumstances.Help your child to identify the |
| on behavior, that we neglect the underlying feelings | | | | following: |
| that create these behaviors. Misbehavior is | | | | How am I feeling right now? |
| sometimes caused by an unmet need. According to | | | | Why am I feeling this way? |
| psychologist Abraham Maslow, "people are motivated | | | | How would I like to feel?The more you help your |
| by their unsatisfied needs".Maslow's Hierarchy of | | | | child understand his/her emotions, the more your child |
| Needs illustrates the five basic human needs:1. | | | | will be able to control impulsive behavior and |
| Biological and Physiological needs - air, food, drink, | | | | cooperate with others.ResourcesAbraham Maslow's |
| shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc.2. Safety needs - | | | | Hierarchy of Needs: Intelligence for children ages 2-4 |
| protection from elements, security, order, law, limits, | | | | Intelligence for children ages 5-7 |
| stability, etc.3. Belongingness and Love needs - work | | | | How Important is Emotional Intelligence? |
| group, family, affection, relationships, etc.4. Esteem | | | | Emotional Intelligence in Your Child |
| needs - self-esteem, achievement, mastery, | | | | Intelligence: What is it? Who has it? How to get it? |
| independence, status, dominance, prestige, managerial | | | | M. Roker is an Academic and Personal Development |
| responsibility, etc.5. Self-Actualization needs - realizing | | | | Coach who helps parents and children to disover and |
| personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal | | | | develop their strengths, talents and natural gifts. |
| growth and peak experiences. Only when the lowest | | | | |